Note on the Previous Two Posts
Lest anyone think that I'm miserable here or just spend my days alone in my room pining for all things American, I want to clarify a bit, because I realize how bad those posts must sound.
Both of those entries were written over the weekend, although I didn't get to post them until yesterday and today, respectively. And, like I said in one of the posts, I was just being really hard on myself this past weekend, and being really critical of what i saw as my failures in adjusting to my new surroundings and involving myself in life here.
In all actuality, I do feel pretty good about what I'm doing here and think I'm doing a pretty good job at involving myself and accepting the culture. Like I've said before, I actually feel I have a really healthy balance of work/involvement and things I do for myself. I just really have this bad habit of holding myself up to completely unrealistic expectations and then beating myself up when I invariably don't meet them. It's something that I have to work on.
But don't be worried by those last two posts. I'm being much kinder to myself this week.
andy out.
Lest anyone think that I'm miserable here or just spend my days alone in my room pining for all things American, I want to clarify a bit, because I realize how bad those posts must sound.
Both of those entries were written over the weekend, although I didn't get to post them until yesterday and today, respectively. And, like I said in one of the posts, I was just being really hard on myself this past weekend, and being really critical of what i saw as my failures in adjusting to my new surroundings and involving myself in life here.
In all actuality, I do feel pretty good about what I'm doing here and think I'm doing a pretty good job at involving myself and accepting the culture. Like I've said before, I actually feel I have a really healthy balance of work/involvement and things I do for myself. I just really have this bad habit of holding myself up to completely unrealistic expectations and then beating myself up when I invariably don't meet them. It's something that I have to work on.
But don't be worried by those last two posts. I'm being much kinder to myself this week.
andy out.
posted by Andy at 12:57 PM
5 Comments:
It's okay to miss America, it's been your life for close to 25 years. India has only been your life for three months. It will probably get easier and when you come back next August you'll find yourself day dreaming about India.
Sounds like weekends are the toughest, when you have less structure. There've been times in my life when I've dreaded weekends.
You're daydreaming about the good parts of living in the US - we all idealize the good and forget the frustrating. Like Kati said, when you're home you'll remember (and at times even wish for!) the good parts of you year abroad.
Andy, I was so happy to read your past two blogs and know that I'm not alone in feeling the same way. Sometimes, when I'm feeling culture shock the worst, I wonder if I'm cut out for this, if it was this hard for the last volunteer, if the other volunteers are feeling the same way. What we're going through is normal. It doesn't make us bad volunteers, it just means that we are adjusting. And it's helpful, at least for me, to know that others are feeling similarly and going through similar things.
I feel ya, bro.
To Andy, Cammy, and the other YAVs there: Yes, it was absolutely this hard for the last volunteers.
And an afterthought: That's what makes it such a special experience. If it weren't a challenge, the whole world would be there doing it, right? But, as it is, there are only six - a very special, very capable six.
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