What Privacy?
The one thing that I've really been struggling with here is the Indian understanding (viz. none at all) of privacy and personal space.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that even though I'm a pretty nice guy, I'm a very private, solitary, introverted person. I really value having time and space for myself, and am very protective of that time and space.
This is completely incomprehensible to the Indian psyche. No Indian I've talked to about this can understand why someone would ever want to be alone; to spend time by himself. Even worse, should an Indian find you doing anything by yourself (walking, reading, playing guitar, meditating), they assume that something must be wrong- if you're alone, you must be terribly depressed- and lavish even more attention on you.
I speak not from broad generalisation, but from personal experience. Many's the day when I've been enjoying a few moments of quiet reflection in my room or sitting on my bed, happily playing my guitar, when an unexpected guest will drop by and ask if I'm feeling OK. "Yes, I'm doing quite well.... why do you ask?" "Well you were sitting all lonely..." I find it meaningful that in Indian English, "lonely" and "alone" mean exactly the same thing. Or when I'm walking to the college, engrossed in my thoughts or focusing on my breathing and footsteps as a way of meditation, it's all I can do to not scream when someone I've never met before will invariably come up beside me and start chatting like he's known me for years.
I guess this is something I'll just have to get used to. And I guess it's sort of a blessing that I'll never be allowed to feel lonely. But as of right now, I find this absolutely intolerable!
The one thing that I've really been struggling with here is the Indian understanding (viz. none at all) of privacy and personal space.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that even though I'm a pretty nice guy, I'm a very private, solitary, introverted person. I really value having time and space for myself, and am very protective of that time and space.
This is completely incomprehensible to the Indian psyche. No Indian I've talked to about this can understand why someone would ever want to be alone; to spend time by himself. Even worse, should an Indian find you doing anything by yourself (walking, reading, playing guitar, meditating), they assume that something must be wrong- if you're alone, you must be terribly depressed- and lavish even more attention on you.
I speak not from broad generalisation, but from personal experience. Many's the day when I've been enjoying a few moments of quiet reflection in my room or sitting on my bed, happily playing my guitar, when an unexpected guest will drop by and ask if I'm feeling OK. "Yes, I'm doing quite well.... why do you ask?" "Well you were sitting all lonely..." I find it meaningful that in Indian English, "lonely" and "alone" mean exactly the same thing. Or when I'm walking to the college, engrossed in my thoughts or focusing on my breathing and footsteps as a way of meditation, it's all I can do to not scream when someone I've never met before will invariably come up beside me and start chatting like he's known me for years.
I guess this is something I'll just have to get used to. And I guess it's sort of a blessing that I'll never be allowed to feel lonely. But as of right now, I find this absolutely intolerable!
posted by Andy at 10:19 AM
1 Comments:
Your are, after all, in their culture, so keep yourself open to it. You will get used to the closeness and lack of 'personal space'. At least the natives are friendly, much unlike my time in Vietnam, and I survived with many good (and a few bad) memories that last a lifetime. Absorb all you can!
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