What's the Problem Here??
(back-dated post #7)
I won't lie.. i'm lonely right now, and scared. and i'm wondering how i'll ever make it through this year.
Today was my first at Union Christian College, where I'll be doing most of my work this year. It seems like a nice enough place, and it sounds like there'll be plenty to keep me busy there. Everyone I've met is very friendly and seems more than willing to welcome and befriend me. I think I'll be very happy there. Plus, internet-connected computers are everywhere on campus, so i'll be able to feel at least a little connected to my loved ones back home.
I get into trouble when i return to Chacko Homes (the retirement home where I'm staying-- which is, also, a very nice place with very friendly and loving people-- more on UC College, Chacko homes, and the people at both later... just let me whine for now...) in the evening. These last couple of days, there's been a span of between 2 and 3 hours before dinner and maybe 1-2 hours between dinner and bed (dinner is eaten late here-- 8-9pm) where i have nothing to do. I come to my room, play the guitar, read, write, and get really homesick. I start to feel really lonely and wonder how i'm going to make it through a whole year.
But i'm a very solitary, independent creature by nature-- so what's the problem here?!?!? My hope is that over the course of the year (and hopefully sooner rather than later!) I'll get into a routine where i can stay busy and sociable, but still treasure my quiet solitary time. I know that a daily period of quiet, reflection, Bible study, prayer, and relaxation is an important component of a succesful and happy year (life?). I just hope i can get over my fears, doubts, anxieties, and loneliness so that i can appreciate the quiet time for the blessing it is.
Prayer
Gracious Father, thank you for your constant and loving presence in my life. through my greatest joys, my darkest fears, my deepest loneliness, my loudest doubts, you have always been with me. Forgive my uncomprehending loneliness and fear. I know that you are with me always-- so what do i have to be afraid of? Lord, help me to entrust myself completely to you; that your will, your love, your light can shine clearly through me. Let my hours of solitude be a time of communion with you. You sent your Son into the world so that we would know we are never alone. and i know that no matter where i am or how alone i feel, I am loved, and I am never alone.
(back-dated post #7)
I won't lie.. i'm lonely right now, and scared. and i'm wondering how i'll ever make it through this year.
Today was my first at Union Christian College, where I'll be doing most of my work this year. It seems like a nice enough place, and it sounds like there'll be plenty to keep me busy there. Everyone I've met is very friendly and seems more than willing to welcome and befriend me. I think I'll be very happy there. Plus, internet-connected computers are everywhere on campus, so i'll be able to feel at least a little connected to my loved ones back home.
I get into trouble when i return to Chacko Homes (the retirement home where I'm staying-- which is, also, a very nice place with very friendly and loving people-- more on UC College, Chacko homes, and the people at both later... just let me whine for now...) in the evening. These last couple of days, there's been a span of between 2 and 3 hours before dinner and maybe 1-2 hours between dinner and bed (dinner is eaten late here-- 8-9pm) where i have nothing to do. I come to my room, play the guitar, read, write, and get really homesick. I start to feel really lonely and wonder how i'm going to make it through a whole year.
But i'm a very solitary, independent creature by nature-- so what's the problem here?!?!? My hope is that over the course of the year (and hopefully sooner rather than later!) I'll get into a routine where i can stay busy and sociable, but still treasure my quiet solitary time. I know that a daily period of quiet, reflection, Bible study, prayer, and relaxation is an important component of a succesful and happy year (life?). I just hope i can get over my fears, doubts, anxieties, and loneliness so that i can appreciate the quiet time for the blessing it is.
Prayer
Gracious Father, thank you for your constant and loving presence in my life. through my greatest joys, my darkest fears, my deepest loneliness, my loudest doubts, you have always been with me. Forgive my uncomprehending loneliness and fear. I know that you are with me always-- so what do i have to be afraid of? Lord, help me to entrust myself completely to you; that your will, your love, your light can shine clearly through me. Let my hours of solitude be a time of communion with you. You sent your Son into the world so that we would know we are never alone. and i know that no matter where i am or how alone i feel, I am loved, and I am never alone.
posted by Andy at 7:30 PM
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