Hindu Wedding
(back-dated post #3)

Well it's only our first full day in India and we already got to go to a Hindu wedding. It was held at a small temple that is apparently the oldest in the Aluva/Cochin area. This temple is dedicated to the Hindu earth goddess (whose name eludes me at the moment) and Ganesh (the elephant-headed god of good fortune and protection). The wedding itself was actually very short-- the bride's mother lit a bunch of lamps and poured a large basket of grain into a smaller container, causing it to overflow. This gesture, from what I understand, is a symbol of abundance. The priest said a few prayers and presented the groom with a necklace (thali) that he put on the bride, and that was pretty much it. The rest of the time at the temple was just for photo-ops. We even had our picture taken with the happy couple!
Then was the reception. the brief ceremony was acted out again on the stage of the large reception hall, and then it was time to eat! We had a traditional festal meal served on a banana leaf with a number of sides (hot, pungent, sweet, and every flavour in between) ranged around a mound of rice. You kind of mix/mush the sides into the rice and form it into neat little balls and pop them into your mouth, all with the fingers of the right hand. Also served were two thick, hot, sweet drinks called payasam; one was brown and made from boiled wheat and sugar. The other was made from rice, milk, and sugar, and was white. Everything was delicious; this would probably be pretty high in the running for Best Meal Ever, if i was the kind of person who kept track of things like that.
Both the wedding and the reception were accompanied by music: one guy played this really long recorder/clarinet thing, and another played some kind of double-sided drum. One side, played with the fingers, almost sounded like a wood-block. The other side was pounded with a stick and provided a more resonant bass sound. the music was very lively and frenetic, and sounded mostly improvisational-- the nearest comparison i could make was to jazz. (I was later informed that the music was not at all improvisational, but is in fact highly structured-- the rhythm of the drum dictates the melody that the recorder guy would play. This is fascinating and something that I'll definitely have to look into further!)
But it was strange. We were given more attention than the bride and groom. People moved out of our way so that we would have the best possible view of the wedding, and we were given the best seats at the feast. The bride's mother told us what an honor it was to have us attend. People were lining up to talk to us; to practice their English on us ("What is your name?" "My name is..." How are you?" "Where are you from?") We were totally guests of honor and centers of attention which, like i said, was weird. But it was still a beautiful and exhilirating celebration and an awesome first exposure to Kerala.

First Impressions
Mumbai Airport, 1:30 pm
(back-dated entry #2, while on the plane from Mumbai to Cochin)

After our bagage debacle (more on that later), we had to get from International Arrivals to Domestic Departures, which it seems are on opposite sides of the city. To do this, we had to take a pre-paid cab through Mumbai (or, if you like, Bombay). Based solely on that 15 minute cab ride, India so far is everything I've heard it was. It's hot. It's humid. It's dirty. It smells. It's loud. It's crowded. It's amazing. Even though all the structures were either brown or gray or covered with dust, the clothes and signs and billboards were vibrant technicolor. the sacred and the profane exist in such close proximity that it's hard to tell the difference. On a building's concrete facade, Hindu deities and campaigning politicians vie for space. On the street below, a man unzips his pants and relieves himself directly into the open sewer system. Like i said, it smells. Once outside the airport buildings, one is knocked senseless by the smell (if it's possible to be knocked senseless by sensory overload...); the smell of waste, of people, of wasted people. Yes, discarded trash and people line the streets of Mumbai. Nestled against the outer walls of the airport was an improvisational town composed of tents made from plastic tarps, where naked children cavorted with stray dogs. Women sat on the ground in a semi-circle, happily talking about whatever it is women talk about when they sitin a semi-circle. I've spent plenty of time in various US cities, done mission work with some of the porest of America's poor. But I've never been confronted with poverty so blatant- so out-in-the-open-- or so prevalent before. I can only interpret these signs to say "get used to it. this is simply the way it is." And i'm not trying here to suggest that poverty and oppression as the status quo are acceptable. In a culture where these things have been entrenched so firmly for so long, the struggle for change is going to be that much harder.
But I'm not here to fight.
I'm not here to impose my ideals and ideas of Good and Bad, Right and Wrong onto Indian culture.
I'm here to observe, to experience, to share in that culture. and with God's grace, I'll be able to be open and receptive to what this culture has to teach me, and learn to work for change-- not to fight for it.

Fears and Faith
Chicago, IL, USA
(back-dated post #1, written on the afternoon before i boarded the plane for India)

This is really (finally?) happening. Denial is no longer an option. I now find myself face-to-face with the facts of a trip that will last for more than a day, and a year in India. My feelings right now are pretty much indecipherable. I'm excited. I'm afraid. I'm curious. I'm anxious. I'm lonely.
I know that what I'm doing is good, that it's right for this time in my life, that it's amazing. I'm doing something that very few people ever really get to do-- I'm living out what I really believe to be God's call for me.
But I can't help but wonder-- am i good enough? smart enough? brave enough? strong enough? am i enough??
Will I be able to deal with the doubt? the loneliness? the isolation? All I have right now are these questions, doubts, and fears.
I guess I just have to have faith, and trust that God knows what he's doing...